Another day, another guru with a magic number. This time it’s four. The Only 4 Investments I Will Ever Need.
Let that sink in. The sheer, unadulterated hubris of that title. It’s not "Four Investments to Consider." It’s not "A Simple Portfolio Strategy." It’s The Only Four. Ever. It’s the kind of headline that preys on desperation, the financial equivalent of a late-night infomercial promising six-pack abs in six minutes. And people are eating it up.
You see this stuff pop up constantly on sites like Seeking Alpha, wedged between serious analysis and outright gambling advice. They all follow the same script: a confident, credentialed-up author presents a dead-simple solution to a terrifyingly complex problem. The problem? Your future. The solution? Just buy these tickers, join my premium group, and stop worrying.
Give me a break.
The Engineer's Fantasy
The man behind the curtain is Samuel Smith, a West Point grad with a masters in engineering. And that, right there, is the entire premise in a nutshell. Engineers are brilliant at building bridges and designing systems where inputs have predictable outputs. They live in a world of physics and formulas. The stock market, however, ain't a bridge. It's a chaotic, emotionally-driven, barely-contained riot that chews up predictable systems for breakfast.
Smith’s pitch is essentially an engineer’s fantasy: that you can distill the howling chaos of global economics into four neat little boxes. Buy ETVNQ, BIZD, GLD, and one other mystery meat component, and you’re set for life. It’s like a pre-packaged meal kit for your 401k. It looks clean, it feels simple, and it saves you the trouble of actually learning to cook. But you’re stuck with their recipe, their ingredients, and you’re paying a premium for the convenience of not having to think.
And offcourse, the article isn't just an article. It’s a sales funnel. The whole point is to get you into his "High Yield Investor" group, the self-proclaimed "#1 Rated Community of Dividend Investors." The page is plastered with glowing testimonials from users who, after just a few months, are seeing their dividend income soar. It's a classic echo chamber, and people are desperate for a win, so...
This is just lazy financial advice. No, 'lazy' isn't the right word—it's predatory. It sells a dangerous illusion of certainty. It tells you that you don't need to understand the messy world of `alternative investments` or the nuances of `fixed income investments`; you just need to trust the system. The engineer’s system. But what happens when the physics of the market changes?
The Four Pillars of What, Exactly?
Let’s be real. The promise of an 8% dividend yield is seductive. In a world of pathetic savings account rates, 8% sounds like a godsend. But where does that yield come from? What are the risks? An investment portfolio built on just four pillars is a house of cards waiting for a stiff breeze. What happens when one of those pillars—say, the energy sector represented by an MLP—gets kneecapped by new regulations or a global price war? Does the whole thing just... collapse?
The article is a masterclass in saying nothing of substance while sounding authoritative. It gestures at diversification by including gold (GLD), but this isn't some revolutionary insight. It's boilerplate advice dressed up as a secret formula. I see this on YouTube constantly now. Some guy in a rented Lamborghini talking about his "unstoppable e-commerce system." It's the same psychological grift, just aimed at a different kind of desperation.
The disclosure says Smith is long on a bunch of these stocks, which is supposed to be reassuring. "See? I eat my own cooking!" But it also means he has a vested interest in you and thousands of others piling in and pumping up the value of his own holdings. Is he a genius investor, or just a really good marketer who’s figured out how to create his own momentum? How can you tell the difference?
Then again, maybe I’m the crazy one. I see the 190 five-star reviews. I see the happy comments. Maybe this guy really did discover the one weird trick to building wealth and I'm just too jaded to see it.
Nah. The universe is never that simple. Anyone selling you simplicity is selling you a fantasy. True `low risk investments` require constant vigilance, not a "set it and forget it" four-ticker magic bullet.
So, It's a Subscription Box for Stocks?
Ultimately, this isn't about empowering you. It's about making you a customer. It's a product designed to soothe your anxiety with a simple, repeatable formula. You aren't learning how to invest; you're just subscribing to a service. You’re outsourcing your financial future to a guy with a nice degree and a better marketing plan. It’s a comforting, dangerous lie. The real work is hard, messy, and never, ever finished. And it sure as hell doesn't fit into a tidy list of four tickers.